Team ECK in SE Asia

Over the Chinese Spring Festival (mid-January to mid-February, Emily, Chloé, and Kai (Team ECK) frolicked in Thailand and Laos. See photos!

The Cast of Characters
Emily is a cheery, clever girl from London, who will occasionally burst into song and produce photo slide shows. Luxembourg is home to Europe’s second largest petrol station and Chloé Kayser. While Emily and I are more organized than not, Chloé is off the charts, so served as the de facto trip mother. When Emily located her sleeping bag one freezing morning, I wondered why Chloé was so happy, to which she replied, “We’re a team. If one of us is cold, we’re all cold.” Our team bonded fast.

Thailand
In my mind, Thailand sets the platinum standard for tourism: friendly locals and superb food, sights, and weather, all at everyday low prices. Superior to China and all the countries I’ve explored in Europe (Germany, England, Italy, Spain) and South America (Mexico, Peru, Honduras). It’s one of the few places I’ve traveled without speaking a lick of the local language (together, English, German, Spanish, and Chinese cover a good swath), yet English was ubiquitous and decades ahead of that spoken in China.

Bangkok
Bangkok is just as advertised: colorful, bustling, and seductive (and yes, beware the ladyboys). My favorite experiences: wandering side streets in the old town, stopping every block for a new snack (who knew green mango and chili would be so tasty?) and visiting a silk-making home business. It was also in Bangkok that we became addicted to MSR (Mango Sticky Rice).

Chiang Mai, Thailand
Chiang Mai’s temples are a sight worth seeing. To explore, we rented electric scooters (I being a scooter veteran after Honduras last summer). Emily and Chloé were initially terrified, but quickly caught on. I expect them to join the Hell’s Angels biker gang soon. There was one dicey incident of involving a one-way street—is it my bloody fault that the Thais drive on the wrong side of the road? Yet aside from a few bugs in the mouth (yum!), we escaped unscathed.

Speaking of bugs in the mouth, I also foolhardily challenged Chloé to a bug-eating contest. Never ever challenge a half-Cambodian girl to a bug-eating contest, especially not with a mango sticky rice on the line. We both persevered through six varieties (a draw), the last and largest of which was particularly gruesome. Even Emily got into the act: as I sorted the bugs, she asked, “Are your hands clean?” “No.” “Well just kidding, I’m about to eat bugs.” Bugs aside, the deliciousness continued, at even lower prices (~$2 for a full meal of pad thai, panang curry, tom ka gai soup, and MSR!). As Emily said, traveling in Thailand is like being the banker in Monopoly.

Mae Salong, Thailand
As an off-the-beaten-path excursion, we headed to Mae Saelong, a small village in the mountains of northern Thailand settled by Thai hill tribes (minority groups) and former KMT families who fled China after losing the Chinese Civil War. It was a great to surprise the villagers with our Chinese and celebrate the Chinese New Year! If you ever make it to Mae Salong, I wholeheartedly recommend the Shin Sane Guesthouse.

Mekong River
We took a two-day boat down the Mekong River, a rite of passage for backpackers in Laos. The highlight was a boat crash. I looked up from my book to see our captain yelling hysterically in Laotian, before we promptly smashed into the riverbank (the rudder had broken). We fortuitously missed the rocks by a hair, so no serious damage was done aside from a nice jolt. We spent the night on a remote bit of the Mekong river, where Emily and Chloé nearly slept in the claustrophobic arrangement of heads squashed together in the narrow end of a tiny two-person tent. Like I said, our team bonded fast.

Luang Prabang, Laos
LP boasts innumerable temples and stunning surroundings. It was by far the most photogenic of our travel destinations. At one temple, we ambushed some Chinese tourists with our language skillz. When they overcame their initial shock, the tourists remarked that I was traveling with two beautiful girls (měinü, 美女), upon which Chloé, misunderstanding beautiful girl for American girl (měiguó, 美国), replied, "I'm not [beautiful], I'm from Luxembourg!"

Unfortunately, Chloé also had to leave Team ECK at this juncture, for an unanticipated return home—our trio was down to two. I considered showering once in a while, so as not to scare off the rest (and one remaining) of my travel companions.

Vientiane, Laos
The only destination I can’t recommend. The main attraction was some massive Socialist Realist concrete monument, which even the chipper guidebook couldn’t praise, except as an architectural train wreck. It’s a sleepy capital, with a few decent riverside eateries. It was also at an eco-lodge in this area that Emily discovered a massive spider in our room. She spent the night in terror, while I slept soundly.

On the whole, I found Laos less lovely than Thailand. The locals weren’t as friendly—one constantly felt as if one was being ripped off—prices were surprisingly higher, and the food was not as tasty. We did stay on the main tourist track though.

Ko Phi Phi, Thailand
The final week of our travels was spent on the beach, next to the island where the craptastic film, “The Beach,” was filmed. While scuba diving, we spied fascinating aquamarine life: leopard and black tip reef sharks, turtles, octopi, Moray eels, squids, sea snakes, starfish, boxfish, scorpion fish, lion fish, frog fish, tuna, painted spiny lobsters, and stingrays. My favorite was a peacock mantis shrimp:

Their two [claws] are employed with blinding quickness… about the acceleration of a .22 caliber bullet. Because they strike so rapidly… even if the initial strike misses the prey, the resulting shock wave can be enough to kill or stun the prey.
Some larger species of mantis shrimp are capable of breaking through aquarium glass with a single strike.

I also found my favorite beach in the world. This isolated cove boasted jungle behind and tide pools in front, with the most spectacular snorkeling I’ve ever experienced (schools of colorful fish feeding and hunting, plus deep, interlocking caves to explore). Each night was capped off with three sliced mangos, eaten under the stars, on a terrace overlooking the ocean. I miss Ko Phi Phi.

Our route: Shanghai – Guangzhou – Bangkok – Chiang Mai – Mae Salong – Mekong River – Luang Prabang – Vientianne – Bangkok – Ko Phi Phi – Bangkok – Guangzhou – Shanghai.

If Thailand is Jessica Alba—hot, delicious, and wildly popular—then China is a more enigmatic beauty—less universal in appeal and difficult to penetrate—and one that I still struggle to understand at times.